It's My 28th BIRTHDAY today!

Whew... I'm 28 today! If I try to look back.. all I can say is just WHAT A LIFE there..! Looking forward for more days of my life.. hmm.. I hope and pray that everyone will be safe and healthy.. thank you God for loving me. Thank you for being there.. Thank you.. Love you.. now until eternity.. muah..:-)

Tumatanda na ako!!!!

I'm turning 28 on 12th of September!!! huhu.. still.. I don't find that man for me.. I wish God will give to me the best man I need in my life..



take care of u all.. just send ur gifts to my work address.. well how.. ask me?:-))



My WISH LIST:



1. HOUSE AND LOT can this be ur gift to me?I don't own house here:-(( (coz we are just POOR)

2. JOB ABROAD (decent job and kind employers)

3. GOOD HEALTH for everyone (especially for my family and friends)

4. cute puppies.. (can u send me here male and female puppy dogs?

5. DECENT MAN to be my husband (faithful, honest and loyal and responsible, of course with decent and good job)

6. HAPPINESS for everyone..to all of you who still dont find their THE ONE, PERFECT ONE or RIGHT ONE.. even we dont find this yet.. that we may still find happiness in whatever we do..

7. CONTENTMENT IN LIFE

8. LOVE.. that we may spread love and

9. CHARITY

10. AND that only GOOD WISHES you have that GOD will allow to happen or come true!(so be careful in what you wish.. and think good only.. hehehe)



Thank you Lord for another life.. even my heart is broken.. I still believe that you will give me the best man You planned for me.. I hope that you dont give me to a man who will just hurt my feelings again.. If I am FAITHFUL. LOYAL, HONEST, I hope that the man is also having these characteristics.. THANK YOU LORD for everything.. in all ups and downs in my life.. You give me good mind to think and do only the right thing.. Please help me achieve my goals in life and keep me in good health to help more my family and also other people..and also.. Please keep me and lead me to the right path way of life.. that I may always be aware of the things happening and make sound decisions whenever needed.. that I will find happiness soon too.. REAL ONE.. I'm happy yes.. but then sometimes I know I always search.. and I'm sorry that I keep ignore what is it You want me to see from other people or from people I've learned to love yet I did not acknowledge your warnings.. I know that I was stupid.. stupid in love to someone I shouldn't love.. but now.. I hope I can do this.. with Your help..


thank you for everything Lord..



Thanks for reading and take good care of yourself all.. GOD BLESS US ALL:-)

Lost Soul

Everytime I go for walk or wait for a ride in a street corner.. I think alot of things.. sometimes..I look at people's faces.. different cars and jeepneys that travel from and to in highways.. then I said.. I pity these jeepneys sometimes.. if they have mouth and can speak.. maybe they already complaint from their owners or in their drivers.. and then I also see jeepneys as faithful creation.. they knew their route to take and only one place to go.. and I told myself you are as faithful as these jeepneys only that you are the driver of your own jeepney.. and the difference is that you dont carry passengers but your own baggages.. on that thought I get sad.. coz I dont know how to let go.. even old things and people that I must let go already and face my own life.. and start anew.. its hard for me.. and I envy these jeepneys that they can carry themselves (well that is even they are broken or damage in some parts) but not like me.. when I'm sad or cried.. you can see that in my face.. when I'm bothered.. you can determine that by just looking in my face.. yes.. that's how transparent I am.. I wish I can do something to it and know how to pretend well and wear a mask if necessary.. and the only difference I have with jeepneys is that.. they can't choose their route.. they can search for short-cuts but their end is still the end of their route.. unlike me.. I could be the driver of my own jeepney the difference is I can choose to go where I want or decide on what I want to happen in my life.. I just need to find my destination where I am fit and stay and travel only in one place..and learn to let go and start move on.. and never look back.. I wish I can do this..

I miss my Kutchi..

I miss Kutchi.. so much.. I love him so much:-((

Check my photo slides at Slide.com

Check my photo slides at Slide.com just follow this link:

http://mgsmendoza.slide.com

hope that you will like all my photos and maybe get to know me more and my family and how loner I was in Cebu!

Yes, I'm a loner.. I prefer to be alone sometimes.. even when traveling.. coz sometimes when I remember something.. my companion will not understand if he/she see me have tears in my eyes.. (gee dramatic person huh?)

You will see in my slides my photos with my family, my bestfriends since Elementary up to this date.. (yup more than 10 years, I think we are 20 years friends already), also you will see the photo of me and my crush Mika Immonen, my dog Kutchi.. God I miss him so much.. I love you Kutchi:-(( and the photos taken when I was in college.. Through the years nothing has change in me... except that I gained more weight.. just see for urself..

I love you TNR.. I wish there will be time that you will love me too.. and if there's none.. I wish you well and hope that you find that woman who will love you truly and make you happy.. I love you.. I hope and pray for myself someday.. a single man will feel the same for me.. someone who will be brave not to let me go and make me his only love..coz that's what he gonna be to me.. only love and only one man I will love for the rest of my life..

Good luck all to those men and women who are still in search for their better half like me.. who are hopeless romantic like me.. Let's all pray ONE DAY, GOD WILL GIVE US THAT ONE PERFECT DAY, PERFECT MOMENT TO SAY.. I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT MAN DESPITE OF HIS IMPERFECTION.. A PERFECT MAN WHO IS NOT PERFECT BUT PERFECT FOR THE LOVE THAT HE CAN GIVE US.. FOR BEING THE MAN WE NEED HIM TO BE AND THE MAN WE WANTED TO HAVE IN EACH OF OUR LIVES.. A PERFECT MAN I WILL MEET AT THE ALTAR TO EXCHANGE I DO AND GIVE MY VOW FOREVER WITH HIM..

I'm looking forward to get married someday.. and say these things as part of my VOW for my HUSBAND-TO-BE..(I guess I'm crazy for this) I want a PERSONALIZE VOW in my wedding..;-) like this..

FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I WILL NOT ONLY PROMISE YOU BUT I WILL DO LOVE YOU FOREVER, IF THERE'S NO FOREVER..LET MY LIFE BE YOUR WITNESS THAT I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU..BE WITH YOU AT ANY TIME YOU WILL NEED ME, TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU..EVERY DAY THAT I'M ALIVE LOVING YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.. I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF LOVING YOU AND SERVE YOU IN ALL THE TIME THAT WE ARE TOGETHER.. I WILL ALWAYS BE FAITHFUL AND UNDERSTANDING PERSON AND FRIEND..AND BETTER HALF FOR YOU.. I LOVE YOU..
**********************************************************************************

To everyone,

JUST CONTINUE LOVING and stay in love..:-) my life is little bit boring right now.. I hope to find my ONE GREAT LOVE someday..

Nothing..

I just want to say.. I LOVE YOU.. :-)

Thank You LORD...

In the past two weeks, I was sick, I had this terrible headache and dizziness.. I seek different doctors, one said its VERTIGO, the other might be CEREBELLAR MASSES.. coz while I have this headache and dizziness.. I'm like those drunken people who can't balance themselves..(even though I can walk.. it feels like everything is moving or I am swinging) gee.. I get scared on the last findings coz if that's the diagnosis.. in the future can't walk, talk or move my muscles or move my body whenever I want to.. I underwent CT scan and got the result last Saturday.. its UNREMARKABLE PLAIN AND CONTRAST CT SCAN OF THE HEAD.. and THANK GOD, its negative for any masses.. Thank you Lord.. Prayer is very powerful.. I think I did pray for everyone and for my family, TNR, my friends, and MIKA before I get the result.. hehe.. its like saying GOODBYE in PRAYER.. I think my love for Him and TNR is very strong that I wanted to live more and do more in my life and also want to share that with one particular person that my heart want.. Thank you Lord.. You never fail to give your care to me.. Please guide me in everything that I do.. and I guess.. the image of nuns I always see everywhere I go.. symbolizes that You're there to remind me that everything will be all right.. Yes, everywhere I go.. even when I was in Cebu and in unexpected places like bus or jeepney.. I see a nun! Yes, I even sit next to one Sister last Thursday (May 28, 2009) in the bus, just after my CT Scan procedure.. I'm sitting there and smiling.. talking to myself or to Him? Saying, "God what is this again? I'm sitting next to her? A NUN? I don't hate nuns, I LOVE THEM.. but please DONT TELL ME YOU WANT ME TO BE LIKE THEM.. I'm torn..:-)) coz I'm in love to a man and you know that.. and I hate myself for choosing the man I love than accept this PREMONITION You keep showing me..hehe.. Love you Lord.. so I asked the nun what congregation she belong to.. they called it Augustinian.. Hmm.. I knew some priests from St. Augustine in Tagaytay.. Hmm.. are they brothers and Sisters like the Salesian Priests of Don Bosco and the Salesian Sisters of Don Bosco or FMA/the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians.. I did not ask more questions coz I'm shy.. coz I like to ask her again.. what is their procedure in accepting new ASPIRANTS.. I smiled, in my mind this nun might think that this woman is kinda lost and need help? Gee.. So in the past two weeks.. everything in me is in a limbo or maybe in a roller coaster.. just the same as to what I felt when I was sick.. I don't want to feel that again..

Well, the neuro just stick to the idea that what I felt is maybe because of my ear.. and that caused VERTIGO.. Err.. I don't want to feel that feeling again.. (though I was sick, I did not lose weight.. yep.. coz I don't have problem with my organ for taste.. hehe.. my taste buds worked so well.. and I gained weight from eating and just resting by sleeping almost all day!!!) Eew..

Well I'm back to work anytime this week.. but the dizziness is still the same.. May God guide me and give me strength to be able to perform well in my job..

Thank you for reading.. I hope I did not scare you here.. don't worry.. I AM FINE.. love you.. I'm looking forward to do more and find good job abroad someday.. coz I know He will give that to me too..:-)

I love you Lord..

To everyone, I AM FINE.. Don't worry.. and I look forward and feel exciting to meet Mika again.. Hmm.. I hope so.. but I dont know when.. Anyways, I'm fine.. and THANK YOU for your prayers..

Thank you for reading.. love you and miss you TNR.. I wish we can be together.. gee.. (red face) naa.. IMPOSSIBLE.. I miss Mika too:-) Take care Sir Mika! Miss you po!

God bless us all! Muah!

My Dog Kutchi Died Today April 26, 2009

My dog Kutchi is dead.. he die this morning.. he was poisoned last Friday morning.. I dont know how, by what or by who.. or who did poisoned him.. he suffered but he try to fight back and want to live but just can't.. I dont want to lose him but still it happened.. I even brought him to the vet last Friday.. I love my dog so much.. I miss him now and I will miss him everyday because when I arrived from my work, he would ran to me and jumped because he want me to lift him up and just carry him like a baby.. I miss my sweet dog.. My niece and I were both crying because Kutchi is a good dog.. a very sweet dog.. we just dont understand why it happened or how it happened.. I'm thinking that God just lend him to me.. I wish to have new dog soon.. but I know its going to be hard for me not to be attached again.. I miss him..


I love you Kutchi.. maybe someday we will meet again.. you and Puti..and Bunny and Fulgoso.. I love you all.. I miss you..:-(( I will always love you Kutchi.. you will always be my baby dog..I love you.. I hope we meet again someday.. I love you Kutchi..

Finally...

Another blessing came.. one of my dreams and prayers come true! God THANK YOU!!!

in two weeks time.. I will be somewhere.. a place I like to visit.. a place I like to try get to know.. a place I hope to find inner peace too.. this is truly a dream come true.. now I'm just scared coz feel like dying..huhuhu.. I should be thankful but then I'm little bit scared.. my prayer to visit CEBU is now a REAL PICTURE TO ME..I used to just imagine that place.. coz I like to go there and find my father's roots..and now its coming true in May! Pray for my trip there with my father.. that we may be safe.. no storm/typhoon coming or anthing..(coz its my first time there..) PLEASE PRAY FOR US THAT WE WILL BE SAFE THERE..

I'm really thankful to God that He's giving me this opportunity.. God thank you.. I love you and I just don't understand why He have to show me different congregation of nuns wherever I may go.. maybe because I used to pray before.. but I remember my prayer before.. "Lord please show me of what I will become someday..put them in my way" or if I would get married, please put my destiny in my way or the path I will be taking anytime in my life".. so I'm wondering.. if this is it.. or is it?is it really THEM.. I call them my PREMONITION of myself:-)) well I don't know what's God's plans for me..

Anyway, soliciting your prayers for us to be safe in our trip in May, take care of you all and miss you all!

Congratulations in advance to my bestfriend Norelyn who is getting married on May 2, 2009, best wishes to you and Ryan and may God keep you in His care.. Thank you for your invite to witness your solemn and sacred pledge of love on May 2:-) I wonder when mine will come or what I will become.. what path in life will I choose:-)

Nothing..

Just wanted to tell everyone here that I miss you and I love you.. whoever you are.. you know who you are.. trust your guts:-) its telling you its YOU..:-)

It's been a while I have not posted anything here.. well, been busy at work and also doing school campaign..inviting graduating High School students to come and study to our school especially those who can't afford to go to college..

I'm going through alot of.. well.. I dont want to call it problems but I guess on the rough road lately..and its hard to be just SINGLE.. you dont have someone to share.. you know you have friends but you dont want to disturb or bother them anymore.. and you want to share that only with one person.. I have my family but I dont want them to think much about things in my life.. I wish I have a boyfriend or maybe husband to share things with but then NONE.. tsk..tsk..tsk.. sometimes I feel I'm all alone.. no one to turn to.. who will listen to me and give me good advice.. anyway, whatever I'm going through right now.. would like to believe there's no love greater than His love that can give me comfort when I feel all alone..

Oh by the way, I might go visit Cebu in May, my vacation is approved already by our Superior and its ONE MONTH VACATION.. maybe I'll do visiting friends here in Manila and the rest is try to find my father's roots in San Remigio, Cebu.. this trip is giving me headache.. but just pray for me to have a safe trip there.. (it's my first time to be there) and that I'd be successful in my search of my father's relatives..hope to find nice and kind people who can help me do my mission there..

Take care of you all and enjoy your life..

I miss Mika.. coz for some time.. watching him play pool makes me forget TNR for a moment.. Miss you po Sir Mika:-) I hope that everything is fine with you there.. Take care!

Happy Don Bosco Feast Day to all the Salesians!

My father celebrated his 64th birthday last January 11! we cooked food and also eat fruit salad.. I enjoyed time with my family.. then I go home (No I dont drink even its my father's birthday...Wink)

I've been busy at work coz we just celebrate our Feast Day.. January 28-30, it is Don Bosco's Feast Day and we held sportsfest with our students here.. funny, coz I've been there celebrate the sportsfest and there's no injuries happened in the past three years but in the last three days of celebration and playing games, alot of our students were injured in Basketball, volleyball, and badminton.. some dislocate their fingers, hurt their arms, toes and head in basketball and in volleyball while that one in badminton, one of our students accidentally hit her playmate with the badminton equipment.. but then thank God, its not that bad at all.. they still enjoy the game and I was not able to watch the action and everything because I was busy doing office jobs and also printing their certificates for the awarding ceremony on Monday.. we ate lunch very late.. still everything happened was something and It was fun.. we were all happy..Cool

Another thing, I have answered prayer again, and that is I'm the COMMENTATOR in our Mass today! It is my first time..! kinda scary but I'm happy.. I even try to sing because our choir can't sing because their voices already dry and gone from screaming and wooing for their team mates in the last three days..hahahhaa... so funny.. it was impromptu.. but fun.. I Love my life.. Thank you Lord..Laughing




Well, its Don Bosco's Feast day again.. and Salesians made a big impact in my life and I guess.. they really influenced me.. Don Bosco and Laura Vicuña and Jesus and Mary's life made a big difference in my life.. giving me more direction of what to take and do only the right and JUST for other people.. their teachings are the best, their beliefs and faith are very strong which really inspired me to keep clinging and hoping and praying that things will be okay in my life someday.. I hope I can keep myself strong and always in the right path way of living life here on earth.. I love you Lord, I love you Don Bosco, for your love to the young keeps me going and try to help those who are strayed and give light to those who need direction..that is becoming a TEACHER.. thank you for everything..

I love the message of Sr. Merlinda in her talk during our Gratitude Day for her last Tuesday, that is to be always thankful to everything that God gave to you.. big or small, being sad or being happy.. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE if we will just BELIEVE and do something to it.. so keep believing and have strong faith to God.. Love will also come just when we need it.. and wherever we may be.. let's keep those people we love in our prayers and thank them wherever they may be.. so I'M SENDING THIS TO EVERYONE..

THANK YOU to my FATHER = for all you support and understanding, love and care for me and my sister.. you never remarry because of us..and because you were afraid that if you try to get another woman.. she will just hurt us.. or maltreated us.. THANK YOU.. you sacrifice many things for us.. I LOVE YOU.

THANK YOU to TNR = for the love I felt for you.. for all the good and bad times, for all hardships we've been through, we keep ourselves strong, sometimes, we are in the edge of really giving up but then here we are, still friends and we dont know what we have yet we can't give up.. THANK YOU for all your care for me.. but I really do hope, you find that one special love you want for yourself..coz I know you can't love someone like me.. I'm too conservative for you..

THANK YOU to my BESTFRIENDS especially to BESILDA and MS. CON = you were always there for me when I needed a friend, when I cry and when I'm sad, you never get tired to give your unsolicited advice and support in everything that I do.. you believe in me and appreciate me for whoever and whatever I am.. you two were very close to me like a REAL SISTER.. I LOVE YOU and I hope you will never change as time goes by.. Thank you for all your understanding, love, care and support to me..

THANK YOU to MIKA = thank you for being so understanding and approachable person.. I admire you in all your work.. I thank God for He gave me the opportunity to meet you in person! (Well, I miss to see you in action again..)

THANK YOU to my TEACHERS = in ELEMENTARY, HIGH SCHOOL, AND COLLEGE, they have been supportive to me and gave me very good advices..

THANK YOU to all my MENTORS = thank you for believing in me and to things that I can contribute to make a difference in the lives of a many people..especially to my students..

THANK YOU to GOD = thank you for all Your support, unmeasurable or infinite love, understanding, care, and to all the blessings You gave to me.. I love You.. I don't know where I'll be without you in my life.. I don't want to lose You and I'm sorry if I commit mistakes or offended You.. Thank you for all the answered prayers.. for all the blessings you gave me.. for helping my father when he got sick, for letting me meet Mika, for letting TNR come here for my birthday, for letting me read the Gospel in our Holy Mass last December 24, for giving me an active mind to think of to do what is only right and best for me and for my family.. for giving me correct thinking in choosing people to be friends and those who can stay to be my friends in my whole life.. I love you in everything You gave me, I praise and really, thank you for many things you bring into my life.. I may not have much in life but I have YOU.. seemed all perfect for me (sometimes I asked if I dont love TNR, is my premonition gives me the idea that I should be a nun.. I dont know..).. Thank you for giving me the heart so true, so pure, so forgiving and trusting and loving.. THANK YOU..

THANK YOU ALL and Take care! GOD BLESS US ALL!


Mirriam

Hi!

Hi guys.. its 2009.. still feeling the same.. but then lately doin some stupid things just to stop this feeling for him.. anyways, life's like that..

I miss a lot of people when 2008 finish and 2009 arrive.. realizing that I know I can't have them back and have to start another year without those few good friends I have.. its because they have to move somewhere or work somewhere.. while others are starting to settle down this year..losing more.. friends..

I've started January not so good, I was sick from first of January until the fifth day and start working.. while at work, its very busy and also not very good to start this year.. our computer give up and shut down.. we're still waiting for new computers or new donations..? then I we have this students who is really getting me to my nerve and just.. argh.. I don't want to say anything anymore..

And also, keep thinking why everywhere I go, even in malls, I always see nuns.. I call them my PREMONITION of myself..but I hope its just a coincidence.. coz even when I was with TNR.. I saw a nun! we both saw a nun.. and he knew that I call them my premonition..so funny..

Right now.. I'm just starting to be quiet to TNR.. quiet as in not contacting him in texts.. I am like that.. when I feel I like to be quiet or just have some quiet time.. it will take few days or a week before I start contacting a person or a friend again.. its thinking, discerning.. my evaluating and reflecting process.. on things that are happening to me, to my work, to my family.. what do I want next, what I can do next.. where do I go from here.. what to do next.. where to head or where to turn my next journey.. what stop in my life that brings many things to me, changes or life learnings.. what decisions I need to take or what decisions or what part in my life I was wrong in my decisions? things like that..

I hope to do many things for my family.. but I need only one good opportunity.. but I don't know when it will come to me.. I hope SOON..

Take care of you all.. and I hope I will also be successful in forgetting that feeling I only feel for only one person.. that is TNR.. pray for me..

Hi to Mika! miss to see u po.. I hope to see u play pool here again! I hope to bring my friend TNR.. so that he see and meet you in person.. He knew you're my crush:-) and he knew WHO I LOVE.. my golly.. here i am again.. anyway, take care always Mika! you're one of THE BEST THING that ever happened in 2008! one of the BEST GIFTS I received last year! Take care and congratulations!